Hanging on tightly

Scripture Passage: Genesis 32:22-32

Oh Jacob. Such a tangled web you have woven. For those of you who may need a quick refresher on Jacob's story, he was born with a twin brother, Esau, to Isaac and Rebekah. They grow up each being favored by a different parent: Esau was favored by his father, Jacob was favored by his mother. Esau was the oldest by a couple of minutes and so, when it was time for Jacob to pass on his final blessing, Esau was supposed to inherit the majority of his father's fortune and assets. However, Rebekah wants Jacob to receive the blessing and so together, they trick Isaac into blessing the younger twin.

As most of us can imagine, this doesn't go over well with Esau and so Isaac flees fearing for his safety. And now, many years later, in this section of Genesis we see Isaac knowing that the time has come to see his brother once again and face the consequences of his actions all those years before. During those years, both brothers have married and have children, both grown their flocks of sheep and goats, and both have generally grown up and lived a lot of life. Jacob, to soften Esau's heart, sends ahead several gifts in the form of livestock from his herds and then camps just outside of Esau's lands with his family, his servants, and all they had traveled with in hopes of settling back in the land of his birth.

It is at this point in the story, the night before he reunites with his brother, that Jacob finds himself wrestling with a mysterious man. They fight until the sun begins to rise over the horizon at which point the man demands to be let go. Jacob refuses to do so until the man blesses him at which point Jacob is given the name Israel. The reason he is given this new name? "...for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed."

Let's back up and really consider the situation Jacob found himself in for a moment. He is about to come face to face with the brother he has cheated out of their father's final blessing. He has not seen or spoken to this brother in years since. The last he knew, he was sent away because this same brother was finding joy in plotting his death as soon as their father passed away. It is the middle of the night, they are out in the country side, and suddenly he is attacked by a man who he does not know.

Instead of calling out for help, he fights, one on one, with the man until the sun begins to rise and refuses to give up until the man he is fighting admits defeat. We never learn the identity of the man, but we do find out this wasn't a random guy wandering through the desert. It is a guy sent by God with a message and a blessing, all Jacob has to do is not give up, to hang on tightly to the man and not let him go no matter how scary or confusing the circumstances might be in that moment.

It's a reminder for us that holding onto our faith doesn't always make sense nor is it always easy. Sometimes the most logical thing possible would be hide and hope for the best. Or let whatever is challenging us to pass us by at the first opportunity. The idea that there are times when we may be called to wrestle with our faith is not one with which most of are comfortable. We rather like the idea that faith is meant to be easy, it is meant to always make sense, and holding onto it will always be the most logical and obvious of choices.

But then life throws us a curveball. The cancer diagnosis, the divorce decree, the sudden death of a loved one, the random act of violence that hits a little too close to home: whatever the challenge may be, it stops us and forces us to ask God, "Where are you? How can you allow this to happen?" In those moments, faith isn't as easy to hold onto for most of us and yet, it is those moments, faith is more important than ever because without faith that God is somehow still in control and is working all things together for his good, without faith that every tear will one day be wiped away and that God will redeem all of creation, hope quickly fades into despair.

When I am tempted to give up in the face of life's curveballs, I often remember my grandmother. She was a women who started her day with prayer and very rarely missed a Sunday at church. She took a leap of faith and married a farmer from northwest Iowa she met at the local USO in St. Louis. Grandpa was serving in the navy at the time and, at least from the pictures I've seen, was quit dashing in his uniform. Most of their courtship was through letters mailed back and forth and when grandpa got out of the service, she came up to his farm with her infant son and started a new life raising crops, pigs, and her family.

In her later years, she developed several chronic health conditions and, as a result, the family generally assumed that when the time came, she would go first. Instead, my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four cancer of the lymph nodes and, just over a year later, passed away leaving grandma to face her final years as a widow. All too soon, my grandmother was also diagnosed with advanced cancer, ovarian this time, and she found herself facing cancer treatments without her husband of over 50 years by her side. She often wondered in those days why life had turned out this way. Her conclusion, she wasn't done praying yet.

And so she spent more time than ever in prayer for her family and her friends, for the stories she saw on the news and people she had long ago lost track of, and for those who provided her help both in her senior apartment and then when we had to move her into the nursing home. Her Bible remained at her side and her heart remained holding firmly to her faith until she passed, her body no longer able to fight the cancer. Like Jacob, she didn't let go of the challenges she faced until she stood face to face with her savior.